Emma Hale Smith: The Betrayed Wife

Emma Hale Smith, the first wife of Joseph Smith, endured immense personal turmoil and betrayal throughout her marriage due to Joseph's secretive and controversial practice of polygamy or in reality his adultery that he claimed was sanctioned by God. As one of the most prominent women in early Mormon history, Emma's life was marked by a steadfast opposition to polygamy, a practice she saw as a direct threat to her marriage and her emotional well-being. 

Despite her loyalty to Joseph as his wife, Emma's journals and accounts from those close to her reveal the depth of her anguish, anger, and sense of betrayal. After Joseph’s death, she distanced herself from the church, refusing to accept the plural marriage doctrine that had caused so much pain in her life.

Emma’s Fierce Opposition to Polygamy

Emma was adamantly opposed to polygamy from the very beginning. Though Joseph claimed that polygamy was a divine command, Emma rejected it entirely, and her opposition caused deep rifts in their marriage. Many journal entries from Emma and those close to her detail the bitter arguments that arose over this issue. One notable instance occurred when Emma discovered that Joseph had secretly married her close friends, Eliza R. Snow and Elvira Cowles, without her knowledge or consent.

Emma’s strong-willed nature made her vocal in her opposition. In several accounts, she is described as demanding that Joseph end his polygamous marriages, even threatening to leave him over it. Emma’s distress over polygamy is captured in a journal entry by Eliza Partridge, who noted that Emma once threatened that “blood would run” if Joseph’s younger plural wives did not leave the household​. The intensity of her emotions highlights the extreme emotional toll that polygamy took on her.

Conflict and Betrayal: Marrying Emma’s Friends Behind Her Back

One of the most painful aspects of Joseph’s practice of polygamy was his decision to marry Emma’s closest friends without her knowledge. Eliza Partridge and her sister were among these women. Emma, heartbroken and furious upon discovering the secret marriages, went so far as to offer the sisters money to leave town. In a deeply emotional confrontation, she demanded that they vacate the household. Eliza Partridge recounted that Emma told her she would pay them to leave Nauvoo, and that Emma's distress over their presence was clear.

Emily wrote, “Emma insisted that we should promise to break our marriage covenants that we had made before God.  Joseph asked her if we made her the promise she required, if she would cease to trouble us, and not persist in our marrying someone else.  She made the promise.  Joseph came to us and shook hands with us and the understanding was that all was ended between us.  I for one meant to keep this promise I was forced to make.” 

Emma entered as Joseph went out of the room. 

She questions Emily about what Joseph said to her and then Emma says, “You might as well tell me, I am determined that a stop shall be put to these things and I want you to tell me what he says to you.”

I shall not tell you, Emily retorted.  He can say what he please to me and I shall not report it to you, there has been mischief enough made by doing that.  I am sick of these things as you can be. 

The situation became intolerable for both Emma and Emily and Eliza partridge.  Emily again says, “Emma could not rest till she had got us out of the house and then she was not satisfied, but wanted us to leave the city.  She offered to give us money to pay our expenses if we would go.  We consulted Joseph, he said we might make a visit to some of our relatives, who were living up the river two or three hundred miles.  So we agreed to go, and she gave us ten dollars.  Joseph said it was insufficient and for us not to go so we gave it up and returned the money to Emma.”  

Emily Partridge Young, “Life of a Mormon Girl” pg. 54 LDS Archives

This sense of betrayal was compounded by the fact that Joseph continued to marry other women, often behind Emma’s back. Emma’s emotional state worsened as she grappled with the realization that her husband, the leader of a religious movement, was willing to lie and betray her trust for the sake of plural marriage​.

Brigham Young’s Allegation: The Poisoning Incident

The rift between Emma and the wider Mormon leadership became more pronounced after Joseph’s death. One of the most shocking accusations against Emma came from Brigham Young, who claimed that she had tried to poison Joseph. According to Young, Emma was so furious over Joseph’s polygamous relationships that she attempted to poison him in a fit of rage. 

A statement made by Brigham Young, which is recorded in the minutes of a meeting held in Nauvoo, Illinois, on December 30, 1845. Brigham Young said:

"To my certain knowledge, Emma Smith is one of the damndest liars I know of on this earth. Yet the Lord shall deal with her...and by the way, she poisoned him [Joseph Smith] once. But, as true as God lives, she shall be damned.".

Joseph Smith's Journal Sunday 5 November, 1843

Sunday November 5— 1843.—Rode out with my Mother & others for her health.

was taken suddenly sick at the dinner table. went to the door & vomited. <​all dinner​> jaws dislocated,— & raised fresh blood.—— eve[r]y symptom of pois[o]n

This is the reference to Emma’s effort to poison Joseph written in his own journal. These episodes of her efforts to poison him are very well documented, including on from Brigham Young in the Journal of Discourses that we will discuss later on.  

Young’s accusation, along with other allegations that Emma had attempted to kill Joseph, paints a picture of a woman pushed to her emotional and psychological limits. Whether or not these accusations are true, they reflect the intensity of Emma’s opposition to polygamy and the bitterness it caused in her marriage.

Demanding Property and Threatening Adultery

Emma’s resistance to Joseph’s plural marriages also manifested in her demands for property. In an attempt to secure some degree of control over her life and future, Emma reportedly demanded that Joseph sign over property to her. She likely saw this as a form of security in a marriage that had become increasingly unstable due to Joseph’s secretive behavior.

Shortly before the revelation, Clayton had recorded a domestic dispute between Joseph and Emma which threatened to draw him into a triangle, the prophet warning Clayton that Emma wanted to “lay a snare” for him and ‘indulge’ herself with him. 

Clayton worried that he might be cut off from celestial glory if he accepted any advances from Emma.   In the month following the revelation Smith told Clayton that he was afraid Emma might divorce him.  On August 21 1843, Clayton was again drawn into the Smith’s domestic problems when Emma questioned him about two letters from Eliza R. Snow, Joseph’s plural wife for over a year.  Clayton had assured her that he had not delivered the letters that she had found in her husband's pocket. 

George D. Smith, ed., An Intimate Chronicle: The Journals of William Clayton (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1995)

In one of her most defiant moments, Emma even threatened to engage in adultery herself if Joseph continued to marry other women. This threat shocked Joseph and others in their circle, but it highlights the emotional desperation Emma felt as she fought against the practice of polygamy. For Emma, the idea of sharing her husband with other women was intolerable, and she resorted to extreme measures to express her discontent.

Emma’s Life After Joseph’s Death: Leaving the LDS Church

After Joseph Smith’s death in 1844, Emma Smith took a dramatic step by distancing herself from the LDS Church, which continued to embrace polygamy under the leadership of Brigham Young. Emma refused to follow Young and the majority of the Saints to Utah, instead choosing to remain in Nauvoo. She later married Lewis Bidamon, a non-LDS man, and became a staunch opponent of polygamy.

Emma’s decision to reject the LDS Church and its polygamous teachings was further solidified by her support for her son, Joseph Smith III, who became the leader of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (RLDS), a denomination that explicitly rejected polygamy. Emma’s support of the RLDS Church was a clear indication that she never accepted polygamy as part of Joseph’s divine mission. She remained adamant in her opposition to the practice until her death​.

Conclusion: The Betrayed Wife

Emma Smith’s life was defined by her loyalty to Joseph Smith, yet also by her opposition to one of his most controversial teachings—polygamy. Her journals, the accounts of her close friends, and historical documents all reveal a woman who was deeply betrayed by the man she loved. Joseph’s decision to marry her friends and keep these relationships secret destroyed the trust in their marriage and caused irreparable emotional damage.

Emma’s fierce resistance to polygamy, including threats, confrontations, and demands for property, paint a picture of a strong, yet deeply wounded woman. Her decision to leave the LDS Church and support her son’s RLDS movement demonstrates her enduring belief that polygamy was not a divine doctrine, but a practice that had torn her family and marriage apart. Emma’s legacy as the betrayed wife of Joseph Smith continues to be a poignant reminder of the personal cost of early Mormon polygamy.

References:

Eliza Partridge, Journal Entry.

Eliza R. Snow, Journal Entry.

Brigham Young, Statements on Emma and Joseph.

Doctrine and Covenants Section 132, LDS Scriptures.

Joseph Smith Papers, Historical Documents.

Emma Smith, Journals.