Helen Mar Kimball: A 14-Year-Old Bride Exploited by Joseph Smith

Helen Mar Kimball’s marriage to Joseph Smith, which took place when she was only 14 years old, is one of the most distressing examples of how Joseph Smith exploited his religious authority to coerce young girls into polygamous relationships. While LDS apologists often attempt to defend this marriage by claiming it was a “dynastic sealing,” the facts tell a different story. Helen’s own writings, as well as testimony from her friends and her mother, reveal a narrative of manipulation, deception, and emotional devastation. Far from being a divinely sanctioned marriage, this was an exploitative relationship that left a lasting mark on Helen and her family.

Helen Mar Kimball: A Child Bride

At the age of 14, Helen Mar Kimball was coerced into marrying Joseph Smith, a man who was not only the leader of her church but also 37 years old at the time—nearly three times her age. Joseph promised that if Helen agreed to marry him, it would ensure the salvation of her entire family, a powerful motivator for a young girl and her parents deeply invested in their faith.

Helen’s own words make it clear that she did not fully understand what she was agreeing to. In her autobiography, Helen wrote about how the full reality of the marriage was hidden from her. She described herself as an “Ewe lamb” offered up by her father on the altar, a symbolic sacrifice she was too young to comprehend. “It was all hidden from me,” she wrote, revealing how little she understood about what was happening​

Vilate Kimball’s Heartbreak: A Mother’s Agony

Helen’s mother, Vilate Kimball, was devastated by the prospect of her 14-year-old daughter marrying Joseph Smith. Vilate had already seen the suffering that polygamy inflicted on other women in the early Mormon Church, and now it was her own daughter who was being thrust into the same heart-wrenching situation. Helen wrote about her mother’s “bleeding heart” in her autobiography, acknowledging the deep emotional pain this arrangement caused her​.

The emotional turmoil of Vilate underscores the exploitative nature of Joseph Smith’s actions. This was not a family seeking a divine union; it was a family coerced by religious authority into an arrangement that caused immense suffering. Vilate’s distress is a powerful testament to the harm that Joseph’s polygamous practices inflicted on the families of his followers.

Deception and Coercion: Helen’s Own Admission

Helen Mar Kimball’s later reflections make it clear that she was deceived into the marriage. She confided in her friend Catherine Lewis that she never would have agreed to marry Joseph had she known the full implications of the marriage. “I would never have been sealed to Joseph had I known it was anything more than ceremony. I was young, and they deceived me by saying the salvation of our whole family depended on it,” Helen told her friend​.

This admission reveals the depths of the manipulation used to coerce Helen into the marriage. She was told that the union was purely ceremonial and that it would bring eternal blessings to her family. In reality, this was a full-fledged marriage, with all the duties and responsibilities that came with it. Helen’s statement shows that Joseph and her parents preyed on her youth and naivety to force her into a relationship she never would have entered into willingly if she had known the truth.

A Marriage Conducted in Secrecy: Helen Taken to Another Man’s Home

Helen’s marriage to Joseph was conducted in secret, adding another layer of deception to the already disturbing situation. Helen was brought to another man’s home to be with Joseph, a detail that apologists often downplay or ignore. This secrecy reflects the shame and controversy surrounding the marriage. Even in the insular Mormon community of Nauvoo, the marriage of a 14-year-old girl to the church’s leader would have sparked outrage if it had been widely known​.

This clandestine arrangement also highlights how little control Helen had over her own life and body. Her parents, under the influence of Joseph Smith’s spiritual authority, made the decision for her. Helen, too young and uninformed to resist, was effectively delivered into Joseph’s hands without understanding the full gravity of what was happening.

Dismantling the “Dynastic Sealing” Apologetic Claim

LDS apologists often attempt to defend Joseph Smith’s marriage to Helen Mar Kimball by claiming that it was a “dynastic sealing,” a union meant to link prominent families in the afterlife rather than a conventional marriage. However, this argument is not supported by the evidence. Doctrine and Covenants 132, which outlines the supposed divine parameters for polygamy, makes no mention of dynastic sealings. The revelation explicitly states that polygamy is sanctioned for the purpose of “multiplying and replenishing the earth,” making it clear that these marriages were intended to involve physical relations​.

Additionally, Helen’s own testimony in the Temple Lot Case contradicts the notion that her marriage to Joseph was merely symbolic. In the case, Helen acknowledged that her marriage to Joseph was not just a spiritual sealing but a marriage in “very deed,” confirming that physical relations were expected and part of the arrangement​. This testimony effectively dismantles the apologetic claim that Helen’s marriage was a purely ceremonial dynastic sealing.

The Long-Term Impact on Helen’s Life

The forced marriage to Joseph Smith had a profound impact on Helen Mar Kimball’s life. Though she eventually became a public defender of polygamy, her earlier writings reveal the emotional pain and confusion she experienced as a result of her marriage to Joseph. Helen, like many other women in the early Mormon Church, was forced to publicly support a practice that had caused her great personal suffering. Women who spoke out against polygamy faced social ostracism, spiritual condemnation, and threats of eternal damnation​.

If Helen were to speak out against polygamy, she would essentially have to admit that being forced to marry a 37 year old man as a 14 year old girl was wrong and all her pain and suffering would be in vain.  This marriage was supposed to secure her family’s eternal salvation, if she were to admit that it was wrong, she would also have to admit that her suffering was all for nothing.  Therefore, she defended her horrific situation to the end, probably in the hope that by sacrificing herself as a ‘Ewe lamb on the altar’ it would in fact secure salvation for her and her family. 

Helen’s story is a tragic example of how Joseph Smith’s polygamous practices exploited the trust and faith of his followers. By promising eternal salvation and using his religious authority to manipulate his followers, Joseph was able to coerce young girls like Helen into marriages that they never would have entered into had they fully understood the consequences.

In the Winter there were weekly parties at Joseph Smith’s Mansion House, and once William Kimball attended while Helen was denied permission to go.  The reason, she wrote, was that “my father had been warned by the Prophet to keep his daughter away from there.”

She says, “I felt quite sore over it, and thought it a very unkind act in father to allow William to go and enjoy the dance unrestrained with others of my companions, and fetter me down, for no girl loved dancing better than I did, and I really felt that it was too much to bear.  It made the dull school more dull, and like a wild bird I longed for the freedom that was denied me; and thought myself an abused child, and that it was pardonable if I did murmur.”

This poor young girl was denied the ability to live a normal life as a teenager as she was married.

Helen’s later written history provides a glimpse into her painful reality as a teenage girl, Joseph tried to shield her from the attentions of young men of her age.  She had misunderstood the meaning of the marriage to Joseph Smith and her little 14 year old hopes and dreams were dashed. 

Poem written by Helen:

“But pitying angels wept. 

They saw my youthful friends grow shy and cold. 

And poisonous darts from slanderous tongues were hurled, 

Untutored heart in the generous sacrifice

Thou didst not weight the cost nor know the bitter price;

Thy happy dreams all o’er thou’st doomed alas to be

Bar’d out from social scenes by this thy destiny, 

And o’er thy sad’nd mem’ries of sweet departed joys

Thy sickened heart will brood and imagine future woes, and like a fettered bird with wild and longing heart, thou’lt daily pine for freedom and murmur at thy lot.” 

The heartache and pain portrayed by a teenage girl forced into a polygamous marriage with a 37 year old man is very obvious in this poem.  Her young life stolen from her, her hopes and dreams shattered.  

Conclusion: Joseph Smith’s Exploitation of Innocence

The marriage of Helen Mar Kimball to Joseph Smith was not a divinely sanctioned union, as some apologists claim. It was a coercive and manipulative arrangement in which a 14-year-old girl was misled into believing that her family’s eternal salvation depended on her compliance. The emotional devastation caused to Helen and her mother, Vilate, is well-documented in their own writings and reveals the human cost of Joseph’s polygamous practices.

The apologetic claim that Helen’s marriage was a “dynastic sealing” holds no weight when examined against the doctrine laid out in Doctrine and Covenants 132 and Helen’s own testimony in the Temple Lot Case. This was not a symbolic sealing; it was a full-fledged marriage that involved physical relations, conducted under the cover of secrecy and deception.

Helen Mar Kimball’s story is a powerful reminder of the emotional, psychological, and spiritual toll that Joseph Smith’s polygamous practices took on his followers, particularly the young girls who were coerced into marriage under the threat of eternal damnation. Far from being a divine mandate, these marriages were exploitative relationships driven by Joseph’s lustful desires and abuse of power.