It Wasn’t Normal: The Lie That Shields LDS Polygamy
One of the most common defenses used to justify early Mormon polygamy is the idea that it was somehow "normal" for the time. Apologists love to argue that we can’t judge the 1800s by today’s standards — that teenage marriage and large age gaps were just the cultural norm.
That argument is not only false. It’s insulting.
The Real Numbers Don’t Lie
According to U.S. census data, the average age of marriage in 1890 was:
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22 for women
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26 for men
That means most women were not teenage brides. And those who did marry young were almost always marrying someone close to their own age — not a 40-, 50-, or 60-year-old man already married to a dozen other women.
In 1850, the mean age at first marriage was 22.9 for women and 26.6 for men. These were adult women and men — not teenagers, not children.
It was not normal for a 15-year-old girl to marry a man in his 40s. It was not normal for men to take multiple teenage brides. It was not normal to marry your own stepdaughter, sister-in-law, or a girl you’d just converted overseas.
These were not cultural quirks. They were deliberate, predatory choices made by men in power.
The May-December Myth
Even in the 19th century, marriages with significant age gaps were considered unusual and risky. They were nicknamed “May-December” marriages — and were often the subject of ridicule, warning, or moral concern.
Writers at the time recognized that these marriages typically led to unhappiness, control issues, and emotional disconnect. They were not the norm. They were the red flags.
And yet, LDS prophets and apostles from Joseph Smith to Wilford Woodruff engaged in these unions dozens of times over.
Contemporary Voices Knew It Was Wrong
In 1865, the Daily Union Vidette out of Sacramento, California reported on Mormon polygamy:
“Old men of seventy marry girls at fourteen years of age... A man will marry a girl, and that girl’s brother will marry her husband’s daughter… many go so far as to marry a woman and her daughter…”
People in the 1800s were outraged by what they saw in Utah. They weren’t blind to it. They condemned it — publicly and forcefully.
Don’t let apologists gaslight you into thinking this behavior was just “how things were back then.” It wasn’t.
What This Means
The LDS Church’s top leadership was not aligned with 19th-century morality. It was running its own abusive, patriarchal system behind closed doors — justifying it with revelations and fear.
It wasn’t holy. It wasn’t righteous. And it wasn’t normal.
Want to see the full evidence, names, and stories behind these abusive marriages? Watch our full video: Prophets or Predators? The Early LDS Practice of Teenage Brides